Dark times are upon us. The humming of generators fills the air and candles haven’t had this much action since Valentine’s Day. Everyone deserves a little light in their lives right now. And, if we can’t get it from our lamps, chandeliers, or candelabras, how about a bit of light-hearted banter? From vigilant preppers to laid-back lollygaggers, we’ve distinguished four types of people you’re bound to meet this load shedding season. Which one are you?
These folks have an emergency load shedding survival kit in every room. The camping stove lives in the kitchen and, they won’t admit it, but they actually get a little excited when load shedding looms. It’s their moment to shine (literally). We called them crazy, but they can’t hear us over the sound of their back-up generator. You still have vivid flashbacks of that time you got caught in one of their lights-out drills. It was intense. Did they tell you they just installed solar? No matter, it’ll come up next time you see them.
Never prepared If the apocalypse-ready folks caught a glimpse of these guys, they’d be horrified. They’re forever asking the neighbourhood group chat when load shedding starts. They don’t know there’s an app to check this themselves. The don’t have a torch and forgot to stock up on candles and lanterns. They’re just sitting there, in the dark, no charged devices in sight, disappointed at their life choices. Luckily, they have some stale cereal in the back of the pantry, so at least dinner’s sorted. They’re the blueprint for what not to do during load shedding season.
Secretly relieved These people are looking for an excuse to be in bed by 7pm. Didn’t respond to your message? Their phone died and, thanks to load shedding, they couldn’t charge it. Can’t work on that online course they’ve been planning to start for months? Load shedding’s interrupted again. They cosy up in bed to watch the 20-minute episode they downloaded for this exact reason. They’ll leave this part out when telling you how annoyed they were about their load shedding struggles, though. It sounds like a good plan but, if you’re embracing the load shedding excuse, perhaps you should think a little bigger than a super early night.
Does it best This person knows how to appreciate an unconventional gift from the universe. They light their candles. They put on some relaxing music to fit the ambiance (played off their fully-charged Bluetooth speaker, of course). They look over to the drinks cabinet and see the perfect addition to this already moody scene: an unopened bottle of Laphroaig’s iconic 10-year-old Islay Single Malt Scotch Whisky. A glass is poured, a whiff of that delightful, medicinal, seaweedy aroma drifts past. They take a sip and savour a sweet, peaty, smoky flavour that lingers lazily. It tastes like “salted dark chocolate” and “leather”, and they’re transported to the rocky hills of Islay. The anxious edge of the powerless world around them long forgotten.
Whether you’re over-prepared, under-prepared, or even secretly relieved for an evening of load shedding, there’s no doubt that the taste of Laphroaig will enhance the experience. Maybe it’ll taste like “sweaty workmen and tar”, maybe it’ll taste like “battles of years gone by”, but one thing’s for certain, it’ll taste better than sitting alone in the dark twiddling your thumbs. Invite a character worth knowing to join you on those powerless nights of loadshedding – experience, guaranteed.